Why can’t you be here in my arms
Why wasn’t it meant to be
Why do you have a special place in my heart
My only desire unfulfilled..
Do you ever feel lonely without me
Do you think to call to just talk
And then stop yourself cause it can’t be…
Would you choose me if this was a possibility
Would you love me like I do
Would you give me my one chance
To be your love and your life
Like you are and will always be, mine
तुम पूछते हो कि मेरा क्या हाल है
सोचती हूँ कह दूँ तुम्हारे बिना जीना बेकार है
पर कह देती हूँ मैं ठीक हूँ तुम सुनाओ
शायद किसी दिन तुम बोल दो मेरे बिना सूना संसार है
बरसों बीते इन्हीं सम्वादों में
ना तुमने कहा ना मैंने बताया
दिल का हाल औपचारिकताओं में
अब तो उम्र निकल चली है
अब क्या पाऊँगी तुमको
ये सोचती हूँ फिर भी
कभी कभी कह लेती हूँ
दिल का हाल इन कविताओं में
Ever been so drunk
You lighted the cigarette on the wrong end
Ever been so depressed
You googled ways to kill yourself
Ever been so sorrowful
You couldn’t stay sober
Ever been so in pain
You didn’t feel it anymore
If you haven’t you don’t understand
That’s how love feels
You are not you anymore
You are a tiny part of his world
If he’s not there you are not alive
If he’s not looking you aren’t pretty
If he’s not talking you can’t hear
It’s only him you desire
It’s only him you adore
It’s only him no one else
Love is agony so severe
You don’t know it exists anymore
Love is joy so boundless
You are lost in its galore
Love is annihilation
Of all you’ve known
Your words resonate in my being
That look touches my heart
Eyes that go deep in my soul
That’s who you are
Dazzling me every moment
Surrounding me with passion
Making me surrender to your desire
That’s who you are
Intoxicated with madness
Exuding with unrivaled allure
Beginning of my annihilation
That’s who you are
Only meaning of my existence
Adore you with every fragment
Till I become one of yours
That’s who I am
***
…everything seems good.
Well, that’s what happens, right? When you look back at whatever might have gone wrong – the plans that didn’t materialize, the opportunity that was lost, the success that didn’t come through, you think it happened for a reason. It was all good, because you learnt something, or perhaps achieved something better. But, are you sure?
We have a tendency to justify everything that we do in life, including our inaction. So that’s why when we do a retrospective, we always tell ourselves – it happened for good. We find reasons to justify for something not happening the way we wanted to at the time we wished for it to happen. However, what if things had happened the way you wanted them to, at the time you had wished for? What if it had turned out exactly as you had dreamed? Who knows where you would be in that case? Just because it didn’t happen doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been good for you. It could have been for the best.
So basically, what we are doing is just telling ourselves not to fret upon what didn’t happen. That is fine. But let’s not fool ourselves into believing that what is happening to us is happening for best. Basically, tell yourself I will accept only what I wish for, the way I dream it to be. Then, only then, the best will happen.
Until then, everything will be good only in retrospective!
I said I liked you
I meant every cell in my being
Would die in pain without you
Said you have a nice smile
I meant without it
I’ll have a dismal life
Said I like your voice
Meant if you don’t talk to me
My heart can’t function properly
Said your eyes are deep
Meant with your every gaze
I keep losing me to become you
Said I called for no reason
Meant without you in my day
I can’t survive a single moment
The day I say I love you
Beware my beloved
I won’t be a lover anymore
I will be a worshipper
I will breathe for you
I will live to love you
And I will die for you
***
The same poem in Hindi:
अल्फ़ाज़ थे तुम अच्छे लगते हो
कहना चाहा कि तुम
रूह में मेरी बसते हो
अल्फ़ाज़ थे मुस्कान आपकी सुन्दर
कहना चाहा बिन इसके
जीवन मेरा मरूस्थल
अल्फ़ाज़ थे आवाज़ में आपकी खनक
कहना चाहा न सुनूँ इसे
धड़कन मेरी बंद होने लगे
अल्फ़ाज़ थे आपकी आँखों में मदहोशी
कहना चाहा आपकी निगाहों का असर
मैं खोके खुदको बस रह्ँ तुम्हारी
अल्फ़ाज़ थे तुम्हें यूँ ही पुकारा
कहना चाहा मेरा दिन
बिन तुम्हारे था अधूरा
जिस दिन कहूँ इश्क हो गया
दिलबर तुम समझ लेना
महबूबा नहीं अब मैं तुम्हारी
बन जाऊँगी तुम्हारी मीरा
साँसें चलेंगी तुम्हारे लिये
ज़िन्दगी का मकसद तुम्हें चाहना
और तुम्हारे लिये ही होगा मरना
***
Your words resonate in my being
That look touches my heart
Eyes that go deep into my soul
That’s who you are
Dazzling me every moment
Surrounding me with passion
Making me surrender to your desire
That’s who you are
Intoxicated with madness
Exuding unrivaled allure
Beginning of my annihilation
That’s who you are
Only meaning of my existence
Adore you with every fragment
Till I become one of yours
That’s who I am
That must sound silly, although some of you who owe their awesomeness to a lost love will probably agree. Here are my reasons why heartbreaks are good for you.
- You used to waste so much time talking about nothing…after the breakup, you have so much time that you could write a book, compose that song, go out with those friends, attend the reunion…there’s so much you didn’t have time for while you were in a relationship. Go do that stuff…be yourself once again!
- You were always wondering what the other person is doing, sending them textual love to remind them you are thinking of them and all the shit that lovers do. Now, no one expects you to say ‘baby, I am missing you’ etc 10 times in a day! Isn’t that a wonderful feeling – no expectations! You have your freedom back!
- You used to drive listening to romantic numbers and driving followed the pace of the song…you would think about your beloved with every single word of the lyrics. Now, the music follows your pace while you drive at least 15mph higher than you used to. The drive is awesome and you are saving time! Here, I would really say the drive is perhaps even orgasmic 😉
- You had to come up with new and unique ways to say I love you because you didn’t want to sound cheesy or boring. That was so exhausting! Now there is no overwhelming sense of panic when you don’t have anything new to say…who cares? So chat away with friends, colleagues and use the old boring words!
- Then, there were the nicknames! OMG those stupid ways you called each-other ‘jaana’, honey, baby…etc which by the way are basically the same thing meaning sweetheart. You wondered if you were sounding as pathetic as the lovers that you heard a few days back, calling each other the lovey dovey names. Yes, you did! It was ridiculous and it’s pretty abnormal! Finally, you can be normal again.
- You could not let your phone out of your sight, even when you went to the bathroom (rolling eyes so hard). And you had to keep it charged all the time! Finally, you are not tied to your phone 24X7…you can cut the chord…be free!
- Heartbreak/breakups are really wonderful for your health too. Once that person is out of your life with whom you were so smitten that you has stopped exercising, you can start refocusing on yourself. Start hitting the gym again, start making healthier food choices. Be healthy and your hotter self again!
So you see, my friend, heartbreak is not as bad as it seems at first. You can always turn around your emotions and use it for becoming fabulous and investing some of that love into yourself too. After all, if you don’t love yourself, then who else will?
Yes, we humans are the intelligent species…but are we? We use our intelligence for manipulations, for betrayal, for snatching away what is not ours, for anything but good. Can we, for once, start being honest with ourselves and everyone around us?
If you are talking to me because you need something from me, please tell me what you want ’cause I may help you. But if you try to manipulate me and try to get it, well, most often than not I will understand your game. I may still give you benefit of doubt, yet, there will come a time when I will say – okay enough! That’s it! I am done! Then, you will never have a chance at getting back into my good books or my life. Once I am done with you, I am done.
If you are nice to me because you are professional, I respect that. But then, when I am nice to you for the same reason, you also have to accept it as is. Please don’t think I have any ulterior motive or I am falling for you. I am not. I am just polite and nice because that’s how we are supposed to be. It’s good manners to be polite and nice with everyone.
If I can help you with something, I surely will, only if you ask. Don’t expect me to jump to your assistance when you never asked in the first place. If you are sharing something with me, I will treat it simply as sharing. If you require my advice or support, just say it. And it would be great if you used ‘please’. Don’t act like the world needs to help you and you are privileged in some way. You are as special as anyone else. The world doesn’t need to do anything for you.
If I did something for you. do not treat it as my weakness or need to please you in some way. I helped you because I am a good human being. Period.
If you think you fooled me and got something out of me, congratulations! However, that is all you are going to get. Not falling for your shit again!
It’s a good thing if you are smart. But please stop behaving like everyone else is a fool. Stop underestimating other people’s smartness. The reason they are not giving you a piece of their mind is because they are good people, not because they are dumb.
So whatever you need, whatever you want, please be honest. Stop lying. Stop manipulating. Use your energies in improving yourself and maybe try giving back. It works wonders. The world needs more honest people than heroes. If everyone is honest, the world definitely will need less and less of rescuing. And who knows, you will become the best version of yourself. Cause isn’t that the purpose of being human – be the best human you could be?
Love in today’s world
Meet, have fun, bang bang
Let’s move on…
Relationships in today’s world
Well I love you for real
But only till it’s virtual…
Belief in today’s world
I am the only wise person
Let’s kill everyone else…
Life in today’s world
I am offended about nothing
So let me kill myself…
My thoughts seeing all this
Any alternate universe without humans?
Let me live there forever…
Manisha 