I do have a Problem…

…with you!

One of those days when you want to vent out because you were anyways stressed and there come along people who judge you, criticise you and demean you for no reason! They don’t even know you…so who gave them the right!

I am a ‘high-risk’ pregnancy case and hence, have to take more precautions than any one in a normal pregnancy would. I am advised not to walk much, climb stairs or any kind of physical activity that discomforts me. And one day, I meet this woman, who has known me barely for a few seconds and she might not even know that I am not a first-time mother (she didn’t bother to ask) and she starts judging me. We are sitting side by side in a bus and circumstances become such that they don’t drop us off at the entrance of the venue of a meeting, but far away in the parking lot. I mumbled something about having to walk such a long distance. This lady, who is pregnant for the first time and does not even any idea about “almost dying in delivery”, looks at me with wide eyes, mouth open and obviously in shock and says, “You are in your 7th month and you haven’t even started walking yet!!!” I look at her with disgust and wanted to blurt out that what did she know about being a mother, but I don’t feel like explaining myself to her, so I didn’t. Obviously, she must have told her friends or whoever was willing to listen that there was this woman who didn’t walk during her pregnancy and did not even feel guilty about it 😀

I saw her again another day (can’t really avoid if you work in the same organization). Someone asked her how far along she was and she mentioned the 9th month. The other lady was like “wow, and you are still coming to work”. That must have really encouraged her and then also, she had me as an audience so probably an opportunity to prove a point, she said, “Well, this is my last week of 9th month and I am well enough to come to work.” Yeah, lady, point taken. You are the only one who has ever done that and because of your “walks”! And a poor soul like me never gave birth to a child just after completing her household work, taking care of a toddler and even preparing food! Guess why? I do not walk! 😀

And now, compare this to the several men who regularly tell me that I should not be taking stairs since there are where many accidents happen; and many other men offering their seats to me, out of courtesy.

I do not want to be given a special treatment because I am pregnant or even because I am a woman. But I do not want to be judged because I behave differently that the ‘normal’ or ‘average’ pregnant woman.

So basically, please do not judge me. You just know my name (in many cases, not even that, perhaps just my ‘tummy’), not my story!