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One post is not enough to list down what all motherhood has taught me over the years and I am sure there are is still a lot more to learn, yet there are certain little things you will feel probably on a daily basis – some things that need to be ignored, others that need to be cherished. Here are just a few, since it’s impossible to capture all:

  • The house can be cleaned later, the laundry can be sorted later, but that moment when your child shows you that cute painting, will never happen later. Instead of thinking how you are going to clean the mess, share your child’s excitement at accomplishing a task that he/she thinks only adults can do.
  • If your child wants to wear the same dress on two consecutive days, no one is going to judge you based on that. But that smile on your child’s face when they are allowed to repeatedly wear their favorite dress, will surely make you feel better.
  • Your child cannot be good at everything that the other children are good at. Encouraging a child and forcing them into doing something are two different things and latter is never justified.
  • You believe that you turned out well and yes, your parents had an amazing parenting style. Remember that’s exactly what your spouse also believes. But for your children, you both contribute to their growing up. You both need to be a team. And it is not necessary to follow anyone’s parenting style – your parents or spouse’s parents. In fact, developing your own style is so much more fun.
  • No matter how many children you have and no matter how many times you think that you cannot have more love in your heart to give to someone, you will always have more. The phrase “love someone the most” does not mean anything! I love my two children and the third unborn one so much that I don’t understand how I can love 3 people with the same limitless depth and yet feel there is so much more I can give them.
  • Sometimes, a toy that breaks, a new bottle children lose, a pair of clothes they soil immediately after wearing it, is just that – a broken/lost/soiled thing. Every little incidence need not be turned into a moment of educating them. Sometimes, just letting kids be kids is enough to teach them something about acceptance and love.
  • Every single day is different when you are a mother, so you better not find peace in routine. You have to be prepared to learn every day, every moment.
  • Motherhood is one of those jobs in the world where no matter how much have you have read about it, no matter how much you have studied other mothers, yet you will require on-the-job training and that is the only way you will actually learn. Yet, it would be fun and worth all the worry and pain.
  • Even if you lose it with your kids once in a while and you know your treated them unfairly, it is still okay. Because as you know your love for them does not depend on their behavior, so do they. Children know you love them and your being upset with them or scolding them does not make you a bad mother. And trust me, when you apologize for your unreasonable behavior later, they will always say the same thing, “It’s okay, mama.” It is that simple.
  • Another simple fact for the children is that you are there for them, always. So you better be.
  • You will, for the first time in your life, truly understand what “crying out of joy” really means. You will have tears in your eyes on so many happy occasions that you will lose count.
  • You will feel loved all the time. You will feel proud frequently. And you will be happy even when you think you are overwhelmed. You will basically wonder what kept you busy and what made you happy before you had kids!
  • Motherhood is the most wonderful of all experiences, and there is none other like it!
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As a mother, especially if you have young children, you feel overwhelmed most of the time. Most of the days, you love motherhood because you experience little miracles you wouldn’t otherwise. But some days, you just want some moments of peace, sitting silently, doing nothing. After a while, such contradictions become a part of you. As a mother, I have seen so many contradictions in my behavior that I am not even conscious of them anymore. Some of them are:

1. I am enjoying my moments of peace while the children sleep or play outside, and within 5 minutes I have the urge to wake them or check on them. I have to force myself to be where I am and relish the moment, yet my mind wanders to them every 5 minutes.

2. I keep asking kids to be quiet for sometime so that I can focus on what I am doing. When they do, I feel there is something wrong and I call them to ask what happened to make them so quiet.

3. I convince myself that they are grown up enough to take a bath themselves after a visit to hospital or park, yet I go on check on them while they are bathing to make sure they are ‘scrubbing out the germs’ properly.

4. When they ask my permission to pee, I tease them saying wouldn’t they go if I said no and then, add that they are free to pee anytime they want. But when I see them approaching the toilet without saying anything, I ask them “what are you doing?”  or “where are you going?” Of course, I immediately bite my tongue after, but it starts the permission seeking circle once again.

5. While they eat, I ask them if they want more. Mostly, they say it’s enough. Sometimes, when they do say they want another chapati, I usually say “Haven’t you had enough? Aren’t you full already? I don’t want you to complain of tummy pain afterwards.”

6. Sometimes, I tell my kids why do they keep asking/saying – mama, this; mama; that and why can’t they trouble their dad for a change. But when they do, guess what…I have to know why they didn’t ask me!

7. If something falls on the floor and I feel the house isn’t dirty and I am too lazy to go wash the thing again, I pick it up, rub the supposed dust off of it and eat it. When my son observes me doing this and does the same next time, I tell him “Do you think the thing is not dirty anymore? I think you should wash it!”

With all this happening around them, I think it’s just a matter of time before my kids turn to me one day and say “But you only said/did…” And I can imagine myself responding as “What are you talking about!”

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Read the review Love No More (Love, It Is!)

Read the review Love, It Is!

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