Yes, I agree with you! After arguing with you over the years, after getting frustrated at every stupid comment of yours, after being naive enough to think you are educated enough to understand, after sincerely believing that your mentality needs correction, I have decided to finally agree with what you say about Indian women.

I agree that it is my dress that provokes you to misbehave with me. I agree that if I did not dress up smart and did not have a pleasing personality, you would never pass lewd comments at me. I agree that I should not go out with you at all. If I am going out with you, for lunch, dinner, dance or drink, I am trying to provoke you to rape me. After all, I am an adult, I should know the risks of meeting up a man in a public place, especially if my behavior has indicated to you that I like you or trust you. If in the slightest manner, I have shown to you that I think of you as a good person, and I trust you enough to go out with you, you have every right to make me pay for it. How can I expect any man to control himself when a woman is being good to him? If I do not hate you or like you even to a slightest extent, it automatically means that I am looking for a sexual encounter with you.

I also agree that when it comes to your mother or sister, you would kill anyone who as much as looked at them. But since I am not your mother or sister, you have every right to insult me, demean me, hurt my self-respect, play with my dignity and ravage me physically and emotionally. I also agree that it is just me and only me who is responsible for every snide remark, every molestation, every groping, every single sexual crime that I encountered. I definitely should not have any right to feel safe in the company of a man/men, and I should not expect you to respect me or my wishes. After all, the fact nature made me biologically weaker than you, must have meant something. Yes, nature wanted you to assault me at every opportunity you get. So please continue your assaults, tease me, pass vulgar comments, show lewd gestures, grope my body, rape me. You have every right to do all this…after all you are a man, who has a penis that needs to be used every time it sees a woman.

Today, on behalf of all Indian women, I say this. My dear Indian men, I am happy that I was born into your company, otherwise how would I know my right place in this world? Who would tell me that I deserved whatever has happened to me over the years? Who would, despite being my friend, boyfriend or husband, would still believe that I got molested since I must have asked for it, or was inviting someone to do it to me? What right do I have to wear short dresses, or go to bars, or go to a place where there is a slight risk of men getting overboard with their attentions? And you have every right to do the act and then later say “it just happened” or “she provoked me” or “she was drunk” or “what did she expect me to do when she went out with me” or “her dress said it all, she wanted it!” or “wasn’t she looking for it” or anything else to indicate that it was my fault, not yours, since you are worse than an animal and do not understand “no” or cannot control yourself. While if I was such a “sati, savitri”, I wouldn’t have been in such a situation in the first place!

I will also confess my sins in front of you. When you pinched me on my butt while I was trying to board a bus, when you grabbed my boob while I was walking down the street, when you showed me your penis while I was going to the market, several times when you said vulgar things to me, I was actually looking for it. I went out of the house because I wanted all this to happen to me. I was born a woman in your country because I wanted to invite you to do these dirty things to me. And I am so happy that I experienced all these atrocities and insults at your hand; if you were not kind enough to do this to me, my life would be such a waste!

I will also add here that it’s never your fault when you do not understand even when I clearly say no to your behaviour or touch, even when I might be just a little child ( it doesn’t even matter how old!), even when I am your own blood relative, or your brother’s/friend’s woman. I now understand, if I trust you in any way, it is always my fault…you should blame me for any sick thoughts that enter your mind, every time you look at me.

So all the fellow Indian men, this is all I have to say to you…continue what have been doing to the women in your country. This is my punishment for being born, after all I am woman! This is my life!

P.S. I want to thank all the men who motivated me to write this and helped me to finally come out.

P.P.S. I sincerely am grateful to those men who helped me or supported me when I went through a harsh experience; the person who made sure no one touched me in a crowded bus, the person who joined me in shouting at someone who hit me from behind, and every single person who has ever helped a women in such a situation and have been able to prevent a sexual abuse or rape. My sincere thanks from the bottom of my heart!

Advertisements